Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Last Christmas my daughter asked me to Christmas dinner, and the very next day I caught food poisoning.

Prior to the last 12 months or so, I confess to have never even managed to cook a Sunday roast. But after a couple of successful chickens and a beef joint, I reckoned a turkey was my gradual next step: lucky then, since this year I have invited my Dad to mine for Christmas dinner.

Armed with my pre-stuffed Morrisons turkey joint earlier today, and the legal version of Nigella’s tips for a perfect Christmas, I began with some trepidation as I negotiated margarine hands, burning tin foil and whether those little pink bits were really supposed to be there or not.

A relief it was finally then, to pull the steaming bird from the oven a couple of hours ago and carve, to find it looks near enough OK.

It doesn’t look at present like I will kill him (from the food, that is). But there’s time yet.

 If all goes well, next year I might even attempt my own stuffing.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Ken Barlow’s ‘Kimonos on the Cobbles’

Some suggested plot lines for the Corrie scriptwriters, to cover Bill Roache's absence:

1. Ken has gone off to find himself on an extended narrowboat barge holiday to the Norfolk Broads.

2. Ken has had a long-standing love affair with his daily-worn silk kimono and as a result of which, he has gone on a fact-finding mission to Asia with the aim of becoming the Street's first kimono maker & opening his own shop, 'Ken’s Kimonos on the Cobbles’.
3. Following a letter from an anonymous and previously unheard of lovechild, Ken is embarking on a worldwide tour of his romantic history to confirm their identity, a'la Bill Murray in Broken Flowers.

4. Ken is renting a cottage in Kendal for the summer, during which time he will complete his seminal novel, 'Ken: The Golden Years'.

5. Ken has been silently battling the lesser-known three-quarter life crisis. As a result of this, he has shelled out for a Harley Davidson, a room in a B&B on Blackpool front, & will for the foreseeable future be working the log flume at the Pleasure Beach.